Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.
-H. L. Mencken
Lord Galen
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Big Bullshitter

Dear Galen


I am a sixteen year old runaway boy. I have been in foster homes more times than i can count. Both my parents are chronic cocaine addicts and couldn't afford to keep me or my 3 brothers. I have been diagnosed with ADHD and dont have insurance coverage for the proper medicine to help me. I have a problem relating to society because everyone always has a condition for them being nice to you so I choose not to trust anyone. I earned a little money getting by as a male prostitute to keep me fed but I'm running out fast. I'm lost....I don't know what to do......can you help me?

-Big Bullshitter



Dear Bullshitter

The solution to all of your problems is actually pretty simple. Take what little money you have and pay a back-alley doctor to perform a sex-change operation. Female prositutes are in higher demand and make more money.

Also, be sure to get your 3 brothers (soon to be sisters) in on this too. Pimp them out and you can soon go from being just another whore to running your own small-time child prostitution ring. According to the media, those are everywhere and there's big money in that (and you DO know that the media would never lie to you, right?).

That should fix everything.


Hate,
Galen



P.S. - How much do you charge for oral?