Well, I don’t know if it’s fair to call it “new” so much as different. As you can see, the site still has all the same features (which were a pain in the ass to get some of them into WordPress, btw). But, of course, there are all new features that go along with having a blog. For example, you can now comment directly on anything I post instead of having to register on the forums. Instead, you get to register here!
Damnit, Galen! Why can’t you have open commenting?! I’m too fucking lazy to type in my name and email, you bastard!
Oh, you know why! Fucking spammers! Maybe you need a larger penis in just 12 days, but I’m fine.
lol but gaylen, nobody registurs 4 ur forum, your not gonna get any comentz!
Then you can all fuck right off!
Anyway, enough of that. The point is that shit’s different now and some of it’s better, but some of it might suck and that’s too fucking bad. The changes are here so that I can retire from writing 30,000 word diatribes on shit like the false dichotomy of the Eastern European anal lube industry vs. the Mongolian Vaginal Prolapse Union. Instead, I’d like to be like everybody else (for once in my fucking life) and just write about tiny dumbshit things, like what’s the best Easter candy or why does the sky burn my eyeballs or how many sperm does the porn industry murder every year? Y’know, shit like that. I want to repost Facebook “memes” (you know, those things that are called image macros by everyone who isn’t an illiterate cunt). I want to steal content from Reddit and credit the user in a tiny tiny tiny ass footnote! I want to embed YouTube videos just because they made me laugh or go “awww.” I WANT TO JOIN THE MODERN INTERNET AND DON’T YOU FUCKING JUDGE ME!!!
I mean, is that really so wrong of me? I want to post pictures from my phone to show people doing stupid things. I want to take selfies in the fucking mirror like a teenage girl and if you give me shit about it, the duckface will come out!
Ok, maybe I’m exaggerating that last part.
The general idea that I’m trying to get across here is that you shouldn’t expect to see the old SnipeMe.com in this blog. Will you see it? Like, ever? Absolutely! Lord Galen is not dead, he’s just bored and needs to do different shit. There may still be rants. If you send in questions for “Dear Galen” then there will be answers to DG letters! If I decide to allow any guest authors, there could even be a Guest Rant or two every once in a while!
But the very first thing I’ll need to do is update you on my life. A lot has changed since the last time I bothered to talk about myself. But, that deserves its own post (it’s the next post, read it tomorrow assholes). This one is just a simple welcome to the new format. And while I do hope that my loyal fans (both of you) enjoy the new SnipeMe experience, it should also go without saying that you can go fuck yourself with a lit Molotov cocktail if you don’t like it!
Oh yeah, and Happy Fucking New Year, bitches! Next post in under 24 hours!