Wait for it….
Wait for it….
Since I haven’t posted anything recently, here’s a funny video to keep you short-attention-span motherfuckers entertained.
I’d like to quote what I just read on Facebook:
I got news for anyone who thinks that only Generation Y/Millennials have entitlement issues. I’m at my job, y’know guarding and shit and some old broad is leaving the bank. I do my job and say to her, “take care,” “have a good day,” whatever the fuck it was I said. The bitch doesn’t say anything to me, not even “bye,” and just continues walking out the door, along with some other old broad. I hear the two broads bitching about something outside, so I go outside in hopes of hearing what it was. Turns out that they’re mad that I didn’t open up the door for them. The bitch that SAID NOTHING TO ME and has no obvious physical handicap other than being an old sack of shit, is mad that I didn’t read her fucking mind and open up the door for her. Yo bitch, all you had to do was fucking do was OPEN YOUR MOUTH and fucking ASK instead of ignoring me like a spoiled, old, white cunt (yeah, there are some white women I DON’T like, Lol).
I’d go and talk about how she should be chainsawed into little pieces and be unknowingly fed to her grandchildren, but fuck it, she’ll probably be dead by the end of the year. And good fucking riddance. Cause bitch, this ain’t the 1800s. Lincoln freed the fucking slaves. She probably couldn’t believe that I, as a black man, didn’t just volunteer to have her walk over my blazer so that the leftover salt on the floor wouldn’t get on the bottom of her shoes. Bitch, I’m not your slave and I’m NOT a fucking doorman. Fuck you.
And remember, I’m not mad that they wanted me to open the door for them. I’m mad that these wrinkly old twatwaffles (lol, always wanted to use that word) felt that they were above speaking to me and as a result of that, *I’M* the asshole who was too rude to open up a door.
Useless pieces of shit. They’ve outlived their usefulness and their deaths can’t come soon enough.
That came from long-time Sniper Forum member WadeKarl. Now, ‘ol WK is a wee bit famous among Snipers. Famous for being a complete dumbass who can’t string a coherent thought together!
When the fuck did he learn how to write and not just write but… like me!
Goddamnit, boy, I’m somewhat proud of you. Shit.
ALTERNATE TITLE: Why You Should Have Paid Attention In Middle School Social Studies Class Instead Of Staring At Stacy’s Ass
Well, fucking Christ, everybody sure is President Obama right now! Here he comes, finally after all this time, to take your guns!
Listen, morons, because here comes there Good “Ol Learnin’ Train! CHOO CHOOOO!
The Executive Branch of government cannot pass new laws by itself. It can, however, determine the best course for enforceing existing laws. For example, the law says that everybody has to have a background check to purchase a firearm. That’s the law, right? Yes it is. A loophole in that law allowed people to still buy guns at gun shows without having a background check done. Did the drafters of the background check law intend for an exception to be made for gun shows? No, they didn’t. Is it a very effective law if it says “You can’t do this anywhere….. except this one place, then it’s cool.” No, it’s not. So, in order to actually enforce the law that already exists which says everybody has to have a background check to own a gun, the loophole has now been closed.
See? No new law, just the same old law that was always there! The only difference is that now the law actually does what it was fucking supposed to be doing all along! Obama isn’t being a dictator, he’s doing his fucking job, you morons.
Boo hoo, we can’t buy guns at gun shows anymore! But I liked gun shows and hassle free gun buying!
Yeah, so did criminals!
Here’s the thing, guys. I’m a “gun person.” I like guns. Guns are fucking awesome. For decades now, me and all the other “gun people” have been chanting a pretty simplisitc mantra: We don’t need new laws; we need to actually enforce the laws we already have!
And now we are – thanks, Obama! 🙂
What Obama just did was to give us all exactly what we’ve been asking for since the fucking 80s! The gun laws that are already on the books are going to be easier to enforce. We got what we wanted, stop bitching because it inconveninces you, you fucking crybabies!
I’m utterly taken aback by how incredibly sad this is. I mean, poor little guy! That’s just fucking heartbreaking 🙁
Cops. Big tough manly men, right? Tell me, just how big of an oozing herpes-infestedpussy do you have to be to shoot a goddamn puppy eight fucking times?!
Oh, the dog got loose? It jumped on you? YOU FUCKING LITTLE PANSY ASS FAGGOT! You can’t knock a fucking puppy off you? Really?
But of course you can! Because you’re lying, assholes. The dog didn’t miraculously break its bonds when you showed up and he didn’t jump on you. He didn’t do a goddamn thing except be there when your immature little brain decided it wanted to shoot a defenseless creature.
Tell ya what, I have four dogs. Why don’t you fly your asses down here to Georgia, take off that gold-plated shield-shaped tampon that you hide behind like a little bitch, and come on into my yard and shoot my dogs. Castle Doctrine, for the win! I would love – and I mean love love LOVE – to ruthlessly gun your sick stupid asses down just like you did to that dog. Then, when I’m done, I’ll take pictures of your bleeding bullet-riddled corpse, fly to Pennsylvania, meet up with your wife and kids, show them the picture and ask “Is this your husband and father?” And when they tearfully answer “yes” I’ll LAUGH IN THEIR FUCKING FACES and tell them that they don’t have a father or husband anymore, he’s done!
How’s that thought sit with you, ya festering little cunt slit? Probably not too well!
Maybe if any of these fucktards read this (I doubt they can read), they’ll start calling up their pig-buddies in my area to get me charged with threatening the lives of police officers. NOPE! Never said I’d do a damn thing other than defend my own property if some unidentified armed individuals came to shoot my dogs. But you just go ahead and try that instead of taking me up on my challenge. That’s exactly what I’d expect you to do, because that’s what any fancy-pants sissy boy would do. What, am I gonna be scared of you or something? You shoot small puppies for the hell of it; you’re not anything to be afraid of. You’re something to be mocked and spit on. Fuck you.
It’s been quite a while since I’ve talked about anything going on in my life. Snipers who regularly chat with me (those who do online gaming with me) will know about all this shit, but most of you will have no idea. Why am I bothering to update you? Who the fuck cares? Well, it’s a blog, so that’s kinda the shit you’re supposed to do, isn’t it? Fuck, even it it’s not, that’s what the fuck I’m about to be using this shit for, so here goes!
The first major thing to change in my life is sitting right beside me as I type this, because he likes letters and words and shit like that. I’m talking about my very smart and awesome son, Eli. Oh yes, I’m a daddy now! Eli came to us about a year and a half ago from unfortunate circumstances. His mother, knowing she wasn’t the greatest mother in the world, willingly gave him up when Child Services became involved in their lives. When he first came to us, he was quite the little monster. He’d never been told “no” in his life and, as such, had no concept of how to deal with not getting his way on everything. His bio-mom would just give him whatever he wanted so that he wouldn’t throw a tantrum and, oh holy shit, could that kid ever throw a tantrum! The very first night he stayed with us, he laid in his bed and screamed for over 45 minutes. I mean, fucking screamed, because he didn’t want to go to bed. The first time we took him into a public place (Wal-Mart), he started having a throw-down over some toy cars that he saw. We went through lots of fun times like that before finally getting through to the kid that screaming and throwing tantrums wasn’t going to get him anything.
Well, I don’t know if it’s fair to call it “new” so much as different. As you can see, the site still has all the same features (which were a pain in the ass to get some of them into WordPress, btw). But, of course, there are all new features that go along with having a blog. For example, you can now comment directly on anything I post instead of having to register on the forums. Instead, you get to register here!
Damnit, Galen! Why can’t you have open commenting?! I’m too fucking lazy to type in my name and email, you bastard!
Oh, you know why! Fucking spammers! Maybe you need a larger penis in just 12 days, but I’m fine.
lol but gaylen, nobody registurs 4 ur forum, your not gonna get any comentz!
Then you can all fuck right off!
Anyway, enough of that. The point is that shit’s different now and some of it’s better, but some of it might suck and that’s too fucking bad. The changes are here so that I can retire from writing 30,000 word diatribes on shit like the false dichotomy of the Eastern European anal lube industry vs. the Mongolian Vaginal Prolapse Union. Instead, I’d like to be like everybody else (for once in my fucking life) and just write about tiny dumbshit things, like what’s the best Easter candy or why does the sky burn my eyeballs or how many sperm does the porn industry murder every year? Y’know, shit like that. I want to repost Facebook “memes” (you know, those things that are called image macros by everyone who isn’t an illiterate cunt). I want to steal content from Reddit and credit the user in a tiny tiny tiny ass footnote! I want to embed YouTube videos just because they made me laugh or go “awww.” I WANT TO JOIN THE MODERN INTERNET AND DON’T YOU FUCKING JUDGE ME!!!
I mean, is that really so wrong of me? I want to post pictures from my phone to show people doing stupid things. I want to take selfies in the fucking mirror like a teenage girl and if you give me shit about it, the duckface will come out!
Ok, maybe I’m exaggerating that last part.
The general idea that I’m trying to get across here is that you shouldn’t expect to see the old SnipeMe.com in this blog. Will you see it? Like, ever? Absolutely! Lord Galen is not dead, he’s just bored and needs to do different shit. There may still be rants. If you send in questions for “Dear Galen” then there will be answers to DG letters! If I decide to allow any guest authors, there could even be a Guest Rant or two every once in a while!
But the very first thing I’ll need to do is update you on my life. A lot has changed since the last time I bothered to talk about myself. But, that deserves its own post (it’s the next post, read it tomorrow assholes). This one is just a simple welcome to the new format. And while I do hope that my loyal fans (both of you) enjoy the new SnipeMe experience, it should also go without saying that you can go fuck yourself with a lit Molotov cocktail if you don’t like it!
Oh yeah, and Happy Fucking New Year, bitches! Next post in under 24 hours!