Update on my Life

It’s been quite a while since I’ve talked about anything going on in my life. Snipers who regularly chat with me (those who do online gaming with me) will know about all this shit, but most of you will have no idea. Why am I bothering to update you? Who the fuck cares? Well, it’s a blog, so that’s kinda the shit you’re supposed to do, isn’t it? Fuck, even it it’s not, that’s what the fuck I’m about to be using this shit for, so here goes!

The first major thing to change in my life is sitting right beside me as I type this, because he likes letters and words and shit like that. I’m talking about my very smart and awesome son, Eli. Oh yes, I’m a daddy now! Eli came to us about a year and a half ago from unfortunate circumstances. His mother, knowing she wasn’t the greatest mother in the world, willingly gave him up when Child Services became involved in their lives. When he first came to us, he was quite the little monster. He’d never been told “no” in his life and, as such, had no concept of how to deal with not getting his way on everything. His bio-mom would just give him whatever he wanted so that he wouldn’t throw a tantrum and, oh holy shit, could that kid ever throw a tantrum! The very first night he stayed with us, he laid in his bed and screamed for over 45 minutes. I mean, fucking screamed, because he didn’t want to go to bed. The first time we took him into a public place (Wal-Mart), he started having a throw-down over some toy cars that he saw. We went through lots of fun times like that before finally getting through to the kid that screaming and throwing tantrums wasn’t going to get him anything.

At this point, most of the problems with Eli are normal 5-year-old bullshit. Still working on his speech (he could hardly use words when we got him) and manners (because he’s rude as fuck, lol). Otherwise, he’s a happy and healthy little boy. Later this month, after a long wait, the adoption is being finalized. It’s been a fun journey so far, but there’s a long way to go still.

I always hated the phrase “You can’t understand because you’re not a parent.” I still fucking despise that phrase and it’s still a dumbass thing to say. You’re not an expert on child-rearing either, ass-spelunker! That being said, there surely are things that I now have a better understanding of, as a parent, than I did before. For example, I always hated the words “Because I said so.” I’ve since some to realize that those words are simply a short-hand for “Because I’ve already fucking explained this to you 500,000 times and I’m not doing it again, now get in the fucking bathtub and stop asking me WHY you have to bathe!” Although, I still hate saying it and I usually follow it with “You already KNOW why! Think about it! You tell ME why!” and then, of course, he answers his own goddamn question, just like I knew he would. Little troll….

You’d think that adopting a child would be enough for my “big changes” list, but no, there’s more.

How about jumping out of a career? For about a decade, I worked in the public education system. Before that, I’d volunteered with kids, worked as a camp counselor, coached softball, managed a ballfield’s concession stand, and served as the youngest member of the Board of Directors for that particular athletic association. All shit involving children. I love kids and really was happy to dedicate my life to working with children. Maybe one day I’ll work with kids again in some form or another, but never in public education. Honestly, I’d been miserable with my job for years. My students and all the love I held for them kept me in that job for a good 3 or 4 years longer than I should’ve been there. I fucking hated teaching. It got to be more bullshit than joy and that’s never good. Just read my response to the last Dear Galen letter I got. The bitterness and hatred of the teaching profession really shines through! In that letter, I mentioned an incident where a parent accused me of being a pervert because I’d wished her child a happy birthday. What I didn’t mention was that I started looking for a new job immediately after that happened. That was the final straw on top of a whole 50-ton wagon load of straws and it was just too much.

At the end of the school year, I resigned, having still not found a new job. I just couldn’t bear the thought of ever having to set foot in that place again. In my job search, I put in only manual labor type jobs. Warehouse worker, night security, stock, retail, etc. I wanted two things out of job. I wanted to rest my brain and heart so as to not be mentally and emotionally exhausted every day, and I wanted to do something I’d never done before.

Along the way, I put in an application at the local “Adult Store.” When I got called in for an interview there and the manager asked “So, why do you wanna work at the sex store?” I told him the same thing, that I wanted to do something very different than anything I’d ever done before. I wanted a new challenge in life.

And I got my new challenge. I’ve been working at the sex store for 4 months now. I went from putting band aids on little boo-boos to putting dildos and fleshlights into people’s lives. I went from being someone who really never cared about porn to being someone who watches porn for 8 hours a day on a big screen and can name production companies and actresses from memory (my current favorite is Karina Darling, if any of you want to Google her). From child-friendly cuddly-wuddly farting rainbows to vaping, swearing, and talking sex all day in the store. It’s a hell of a change, but it’s the first time in years that I’m happy to go to work each day. I can be myself and not some fake made-up character all day who doesn’t even resemble me a little. And if I have to do something on the job that I don’t particularly like, I ask myself “Is it worse than being in the public education system?” The answer is always the same: Nope, not even close.

It really is a shame. I loved actually teaching and I loved the children, but those two things were like 5% of my job. The other 95% was pedantic bullshit and putting up with self-important assholes. I won’t miss that at all.

For the moment, I’m happy with life. It can improve, certainly, and it will, but I’m good for right now. I have my wife, I have my kid, I have a job that I enjoy, and I have a newly redecorated website on which to dick around! Life is good

10 Responses to Update on my Life

  1. Avatar robexib
    robexib says:


  2. Don’t want me giving away your stock, Rob?

  3. Avatar robexib
    robexib says:

    Pffft, you ain’t working at the store I shop at!

    That could change though. 😉

  4. Avatar SciVille
    SciVille says:

    inb4 a former student’s parent comes into the store

  5. I’m expecting it. Probably around Valentine’s Day, which is the Adult Store version of Black Friday (only it lasts for like the whole week before) where you get tons of people who never come into places like that. I can’t wait 🙂

  6. Avatar robexib
    robexib says:

    Oh, I can imagine it!

    “Hey, didn’t you teach computers to my third grader? What are you doing in here?!”

    “Selling people dildos.”

  7. Avatar SciVille
    SciVille says:

    Or if the principal comes in…

  8. “Because I told you so!” is something I disprove of when parents use it as the go to line. However, as you stated, it is fine to use if you already explained yourself, especially if you did so multiple times. Still, I’d opt for more of a “I already told you why” which is essentially what you do.

    • Yeah, I do say that additionally. Even when I just use “because I told you so!” I still can’t resist giving further explanation. This poor kid, he’s gonna have to listen to me over-explain every goddamn thing for the rest of his life 😀

  9. Glad to see you are having fun in basically remaking the site, and that you are doing well Galen. It’s fun to see your updates and all.

    Also, fuck you and that fucking little snippet that randomly generates insulting greetings lol.