• Category Archives Rants
  • When Galen goes off….

  • You’re Not Being Persecuted When You’re In Jail For Actually Being A Criminal

    The following rant is based on this news article:
    Jailed for a Facebook post: how US police target critics with arrest and prosecution

    First, let’s get something out of the way. Yes, police do indeed target critics and come up with bullshit reasons to harrass them. Fucking pigs can all go drown in doughnut batter for all I fucking care. This rant is not a defense of asshole cops, it is a defense of common goddamn sense.

    The guy in this article is being lauded as a hero by the Left. I follow a lot of Liberal pages on social media and they all seem to point to things like this as examples of persecution and oppression by The Man.

    Now, as I said, bullshit like that certainly does happen, but is this really a case of that bullshit?

    What was the guy actually arrested for? Did he do something wrong? Did he sit here on his stupid phone and just go right ahead and give the cops an actual reason to fuck him up?

    Why, yes. Yes, he did.

    This DUMB MOTHERFUCKER posted on Facebook, about a specific and named police officer, that everyone should get together and burn his house down.

    That’s called a criminal threat and IT’S A FELONY, you fucking idiot!

    You know what should be a felony? All the goddamn stupid Liberals defending this motherfucker, like he’s some poor persecuted guy! Now, even if we assume all the best things in his favor, there’s still a problem! Let’s assume those things and find out:

    He’s a good person
    He would never actually do such a thing
    He was just talking shit on Facebook
    He’s an activist against cops
    He is obviously being targeted by the cops

    Now that we’ve checked all our boxes, let’s see if we can spot the problem. Hmm…. Let’s look real hard now. OH, there it is, I found it!

    He committed an actual fucking serious-as-shit crime

    No matter what else you can say about the sonofabitch, there’s still that one nagging problem! Are you, my very left-leaning audience, suggesting that we should just let motherfuckers go when they commit crimes if it just so happens that they were also disliked by the cops?

    OF COURSE THAT’S WHAT YOU’RE SUGGESTING, BECAUSE THERE’S SOMETHING FUCKING WRONG WITH YOU!!!

    “Hey, that Black Lives Matter activist just got arrested!”

    “Yeah, he murdered his whole family with a nail gun.”

    “FUCK THAT! FUCK THE PO-PO! BLACK LIVES MATTER!”

    “But… dude…. he actually did do something wrong. This is actually a situation where the cops are totally supposed to arres–”

    “FUCK YOU! CIS-GENDERED SCUM! RACIST! YOU’RE WITH THE KKK! YOU’RE ON THE COPS’ SIDE!”

    “Dude…. no, I’m totally with you guys, I just don’t think being an activist gives you the right to commit crim–”

    “YOU’RE A NAZI!” *punch to the face*

    And there you have it, the great Liberal discussion in America today! If the cops hate you, it’s totally cool to threaten their lives or just do whatever the fuck you want because when they come to arrest you for actually breaking the fucking law, you can just scream persecution and an army of twats will fall right in line behind you. And, heaven forbid, if someone on your side should happen to point out that you’re being a fucking retard, well they’re just clearly a statist with an agenda who supports the cops and racist who wants to see Treyvon Martin resurrected so the cops can kill him this time around instead of just a random douchebag with a tiny dick.

    Cops killing people is not good. We absolutely should be rising up against that and even blocking traffic and, hell, even having a goddamn riot about it! Do I think that a cop who murders someone deserves to have their house burned down? Abso-fucking-lutely! But do I think you should actually do it? Nope. More importantly, would I, having the opinion that they deserve it, just go ahead and name a cop that I hate while encouraging all of you to get together with me so that we can commit arson against him?

    No. I would not do that, because I have a fucking brain and I know what a criminal threat is. If I’m a black man, the cops already want to paint me as a criminal just for the mere fact of my existence, so how exactly does it fucking help anything for me to go commit a felony and make myself into the criminal that they said I was all along. That just makes them look right and when my compatriots rally to my defense for this, it makes my cause look like it’s fueled by weapons-grade autism!

    And this is why Liberals are losing. Black Lives Matter is an important cause, but you jackasses keep jerking your little entitlement-dicks and skeeting goddamn stupidity all over it!

    Every movement trying to fight injustice that has ever existed has been smart enough to distance itself from criminal elements in their midst. There are ALWAYS assholes in a movment and they are not your friends. People who run around talking about burning down a cop’s house aren’t in the fight because they want justice for black people, they’re in the fight because they hate cops, and that’s a shitty reason. You don’t WIN if you’re rooted in HATE. Hate always loses in the end; always. If you base your movement in hate, you’re already the losers.

    And from where I’m sitting, it seems like you guys are celebrating people who punch Nazis in the face and threaten to burn down houses. I know you’re supposed to be the good guys here, but you’re damn sure acting A WHOLE LOT like the bad guys…


  • White Nationalism Is Just Plain Nationalism

    Before we really jump into this, let’s define our terms so that no one is confused. I say this because it’s very easy to get mixed up between White Nationalism and White Supremacy. Believe it or not, those are actually two different things and it’s even possible for someone to belong to one group without belonging to the other. So let’s be clear what we’re talking about.

    White Supremacy is the belief that Caucasians are superior to other ethnicities. White Supremacists hold that blacks, latinos, arabs, asians, etc. are all inferior to the “white race.” In many such circles, there also tends to be the added religious component that the white race is “God’s chosen race” (nevermind that the Bible specifically says that the Jews – whom White Supremacists hate – are God’s chosen people).

    White Nationalism is the belief that white people deserve to have their own country, basically. For example, “Japanese” is a designation for both a race and a nationality. People of that race have their own country. White Nationalists believe that should be the case for not only white people, but for all races.

    Now, as I mentioned, these two groups often go hand-in-hand, but that’s not necessarily the case. I’ve seen interviews with plenty of White Nationalists who say (convincingly) that they are no racists, they do not hate black people, they do not think slavery was right, and that blacks have been mistreated by whites. Their claim is that all of these problems come about because blacks and whites (and all other races) were never intended by nature to live together and that we would all be happier and better off if we lived separately. So, a White Nationalist isn’t necessarily a White Supremacist, as you can hold this belief while not also thinking that white people are superior to other races. At the same time, there are plenty of White Supremacists who don’t give a shit if we live separately. They’d be happy to have blacks, latinos, etc. still living in the country, as long as we went back to the days of segregation (or even slavery) and the “white man” is recognized as superior. So, a White Supremacist isn’t necessarily going to be a White Nationalist either. There’s a whole lot of crossover between the two groups, but it isn’t necessarily so.

    Now that I’ve given you guys a little primer on the subject, let’s dive in. It really needs to be stated, firstly, that White Nationalism is absolutely racist. I would grant them that their position is certainly the less racist of the two, but it IS still racist as fuck. The main problem being that (as I’m sure you’ve heard Liberal bleat before) “race” is mostly a social construct and not a product of nature. Sure, there are some natural difference between different races, but these differences are the result of environmental factors where these particular groups evolved, and nothing more. These differences are absolutely what you would expect to happen within the same species, if you understand evolutionary biology even a little.

    My main point today is about the separation of humans based on arbitrary criteria. White Nationalists want humans to be separated based on their “race.” If you understand what that means, they’re basically saying that where you evolved matters enough that we should segregate because of it.

    Then you have your plain on Nationalists. That’s everybody’s redneck uncle who talks about the “damn Mexicans” stealing our jobs and how this is OUR country. It’s also everybody who waves their fucking flag around and shows “American Pride” (or any other country) to such a degree that you’d think they actually fucking did something to feel proud about. What the fuck did you do? “Oh hi, I’m Bert, and my dumb ass was born on this here particular clump of dirt which just so happens to be the best fucking clump of dirt there is, because I was fucking born here. Now you shut the hell up while I act like that was something I fucking accomplished and sit here being proud of it!”

    Right now, you may be thinking that I’m off on a weird fucking tangent. Or, it’s entirely possible that you might not be a moron and you see exactly where I’m going with this. Good for you. Let me explain it to the simpler folks.

    White Nationalism is the belief that people should be kept separate because of a meaningless man-made concept: Race

    Nationalism is the belief that people should be kept separate because of a meaningless man-made concept: Nationalities

    How is an imaginary line on a map supposed to be a less arbitrary reason to keep people apart than an imaginary “race” concept? It’s fucking NOT, that’s how. The only difference is that most of society acknowledges one of those concepts as being fucking retarded, but they’re perfectly happy to run right along with the other.

    “Goddamnit Galen, you sound like one of them there ‘open border’ people!”

    Not just open borders, no borders. Nationalities and borders should not exist, period. Contrary to the thinking of both White Nationalist and Nationalist alike, the problems evident in the human race today are NOT the result of different cultures and peoples mixing together. The vast majority of these problems are the result of the human race being kept apart, in neatly organized little categories. Whether those categories are “white/black/asian/jew/arab/whatever” or “U.S./Mexico/Canada/China/Italy/whatever” makes no difference at all! The problem is not what categories you choose to separate people with, it’s that any categories exist at all!

    When you keep children isolated, they don’t develop properly. They develop a variety of mental and emotional problems. When you raise children with lots of social interaction with others, they develop into healthy functioning adults. The same is true on the global scale. When you keep groups of people (whatever arbitrary groups these may be) isolated, the individual cultures get all kinds of fucked up. We, as a race (the human race), are hampering our own development as a species. I estimate that, in our development, the human race is the equivalent of someone just entering adolescence. We’re not little children anymore, but we haven’t fucking grown up yet either. This is very likely a crucial stage of our species’ development and the continued cultural isolation is sure to retard us if it doesn’t stop.

    Luckily, there is hope. The Internet has globalized communications and cultural interaction. I rank the Internet as being, without a doubt, the single most important thing that mankind has ever created. For all the bitching, fighting, and trolling that goes on, we are communicating! We are free to interact and here, online, there are no borders. No borders, no countries, no races, no genders. Not by default, anyway. You may choose to tell people online what race you are, what gender you are, and where you’re from, but you don’t have to and a lot of the time it doesn’t even matter! This medium is our greatest hope for the human race to grow the fuck up and be something better.


  • Paul Ryan Is A Gutless Yellow Turd

    The following Rant is based on this news story:
    Planned Parenthood Volunteers Blocked From Delivering 87,000 Petitions to Paul Ryan


    So, if you just read that article from Teen Vogue, you may need a minute before you can actually read my rant. If you have any functioning brain cells, you’re probably so angry right now that it’s hard to see clearly. That’s fine, come back when you’re ready…..

    Alright, good, let’s get started.

    PAUL RYAN, YOU SHIT-EATING LITTLE FAGNET, WHO IN THE HOLY JESUS-TITS FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?!

    You spineless, dickless, pathetic little snot-rag chewer, HOW FUCKING DARE YOU refuse petitions! HOW DARE YOU!

    YOU WORK FOR THE PEOPLE, YOU ARROGANT FUCKING HERPES WART, NOT THE OTHER GODDAMN WAY AROUND!!!!

    You seem to have forgotten, you little shit, that listening to the will of the people and carrying out those wishes is the exact definition of your fucking JOB, asshole!

    This is what the fuck happens when you silly little cum stains start getting the notion into your heads that being a member of Congress means that you’re in a “Be Your Own Boss” type of situation. No, motherfucker, you’re NOT your own goddamn boss. Y’know who IS your boss? All those Planned Parenthood volunteers that you sent armed guards out to keep away from you. THOSE are your bosses and it’s a shame that all they can deliver is a bunch of petitions. What you NEED delivered is a fucking slap to the back of the head and told to “Get back to work, you lazy fuck, stop riding the clock.”

    No, I’m not fucking bitching that you want to defund PP. I could, because that’s a dickbag move, but no, that’s not my problem here. YOUR GODDAMN MOTHERFUCKING JOB is to listen to The People!

    DO YOUR JOB, DICKHEAD!


  • Welcome 2017

    I’ve always written something to start off the new year. One of the reasons I like the blog format is because now I don’t fucking have to. I could just leave this alone, but fuck it, I might as well write something to welcome in 2017.

    Many are glad that 2016 has finally ended, what with all the terrible shit that’s happened this past year. Celebrity deaths all over the goddamn place, from Prince to Princess Leia. The election was a shit show the likes of which politics has never seen before and then it ended in the worst possible outcome. I’m not being facetious when I say that. Literally any other person who was running for President would have been better. Oh, Clinton’s a liar and a crook? Welcome to politics, you ignorant fuck. Oh, Romney’s a religious fucktard? Welcome to Republican politics, dumbass! This shit is par for the course.

    Ah, but let me not get off on that tangent too badly. I’ll have four more years to opine the dawning of our Idiocracy (and possibly the twilight of our civilization). Traditionally, one is supposed to talk about New Year’s Resolutions and things they’re looking forward to in the coming year. Well, you know me, I fucking LOVE traditions!

    Sadly, I don’t have any Resolutions to share. I never do, because I’m fucking fine with who I am, you weak ass little pussies. OH, no, wait a minute, I DO have one! More sex. I’m not getting enough. So yeah, there’s my Resolution: Have more sex.

    Now on to the things I’m looking forward to….

    Um….

    Ok, well, my 16th wedding anniversary is coming up soon, so that’s cool. Valentine’s Day is always a busy time at my job, so that’s a lot of fun. Hopefully the world won’t end before September, so I’ll get to see my kid turn 7, that’ll be awesome. Oh fuck, and I just realized what age I’LL be turning right before he turns 7… shit. No, it’s not fucking FORTY yet, you motherfuckers. It’s 39…. shut up HEY, I just thought of a good thing about Trump being President! There’s a good chance I’ll die before I hit 40! FUCK YEAH, ‘MURICA! TRUUUUMMMP!

    Oh god, I just threw up in my mouth a little after doing that. Moving on….

    Or, well, no, nevermind. Nothing else I can think of, really.

    I’m sorry guys, but there’s no positivity to be found here. If you’re happy to see 2016 die, just wait. 2017 promises to be even worse. You’ll be begging for 2016 to come back and gently penetrate you with no lube.

    *sigh*…. I can’t just leave it like that. I guess there’s is a hopeful message I can deliver on this New Year’s Day and here it is: IF we make it, WE win. The reason the anti-intellectuals and fucking retards of the planet are making a comeback is because common sense and reason has actually been gaining ground! It’s happened slowly, but it’s happened. Republicans had pretty much given up on gay marriage and on fighting gay rights as a whole. They were reduced to small quibbles over fucking gay wedding cakes and trangender bathrooms. We, the good intelligent people of the country, had them beaten back into a corner. This? This shit right here? This is their last dying effort to fight back. If we can emerge victorious, we will have fucking WON. The fight is on, motherfuckers; welcome to twenty-goddamn-seventeen!


  • Well, shit….

    “OMG Galen, why haven’t you, of all people, had something to say about the election???”

    Three words for ya, folks: Stunned. Fucking. Silence.

    And I just kept sitting here thinking “Nah, I don’t feel like writing a blog post, and besides, there’s still a chance.” I mean, the Electoral College could’ve done their fucking jobs. There were other possibilities (glimmers of hope) circulating among the liberal media. So, I held my breath and waited. Hoping beyond all hope.

    But somewhere deep inside, I knew. I knew that the people of this country would disappoint me, again, as they have so many times before. But it’s not even the people, really. At the time of this writing, Clinton won the popular vote by 2.8 million votes! One vote, one voice, am I fucking right, my Libertarian friends?!

    I feel so many things right now. Anger, yes. Bitterness, hopelessness, disappointment, all of that. Confusion, most of all. I mean, he just makes no sense at all, for anyone?! If you’re a woman, why would you vote for that fucking sexist scumbag who’s been accused of rape (and even of raping a *child*)? If you’re a member of the working class, why would you vote for a fucking old rich guy? If you’re a right-wing evangelical Christian, why in the ever-loving goddamn fuck would you vote for the least Christian candidate up there?! For fuck’s sake, Richard Dawkins is more of a Christian than Trump!

    So, yeah, the confusion is the biggest thing for me. I honestly just cannot see how anyone would vote for Trump. At least, not logically, but then elections aren’t won by reason; this one least of all. Trump one because people are fucking pissed and they wanted to shove that giant Cheeto right up the establishment’s ass. Everybody knew that the Republican and Democratic leadership hates Trump, so they wanted to send him to the White House as a big ‘ol “Fuck you!”

    Now look what you’ve done, you spiteful cunts! Fuck them? Fuck US – ALL OF US!

    Over the next four years, we can all look foward to seeing every bit of progress that’s been made in the 21st century get shoved into a windowless van, driven out to the desert and shot.

    Fear. Did I mention that one? Because I AM afraid. Not for me. I’m a lower middle-class white male, I’ll fucking survive. It won’t be pleasant (even for me), but I’ll make it. But if you’re a woman, a Muslim, an immigrant, etc. then prepare for the dicking. A tiny orange dick that’s not simply going in your asshole, but in the all new asshole that Orange Hitler rips you.

    OH BOY, let me not forget to qualify the Hitler reference. See, for the whole goddamn Bush era, the majority of my rants were comparing Bush to Hitler. Hell, the majority of every online “ranter” called him Hitler. But that was obviously hyperbole, and if it wasn’t obvious to you, let me spell it out: George W. Bush was not Hitler. Yes, he did a few mildly fascist things (mild when compared to a real fascist dictator), but he was not Hitler and when I (and many others) called him that, we were just being dicks to a guy we hated.

    All that being said, let me not mince words here when I say that Donald Trump’s rhetoric and actions do actually bear a striking and terrifying resemblance to that of Adolf Hitler. I’m NOT using hyperbole when I say that we are under a genuine threat as long as that monster retains any level of power. He is a fucking horror show waiting to happen and the American Democratic Republic is in actual real genuine no-bullshit fucking danger now!

    Winter is here.


  • There Are No Good Cops

    With all the bullshit going on right now with the police and various protests (including and especially Black Lives Matter), I hear and read a lot of defenses and accusations coming from all sides. There’s one, however, that I’ve yet to see anybody disagree with. Everyone seems to universally agree that all those dickhead cops out there shooting unarmed black men are just the rotten apples. I’m sure you’ve all heard some variation of “Most cops are good people who risk their lives every day to serve and protect the community.”

    In the grand scheme of things and when you tally up all the good and evil in a cop’s life, that may very well be true, so I can’t entirely disagree with that statement. Yes, cops do indeed risk their lives. Their job is important and they do protect the vast majority of us, every single day. Credit where it’s due.

    But, human beings (including cops) are more than the sum total of their parts. If I put one little drop of shit into a huge pot of the best chili on Earth, the chili is fucking ruined. It doesn’t matter that 99.9% of the contents are good, that 0.1% is all it takes to ensure that nobody is going to want to eat that fucking nasty-ass concoction anymore.

    Cops are like that hypothetical pot of chili. The vast majority of the average cop is made up of goodness, decency, duty, honor, etc. But there is one massive turd in the pot that ruins everybody. The media likes to call it “The Blue Wall.”

    Let’s imagine two cops. Officer Rob and Officer Dylan. Of the two, Officer Rob is a racist cock-spittoon who profiles suspects and generally takes every opportunity to be a dick to black people who “look suspicious” to him. Officer Dylan is not like this at all. In fact, most of their Department isn’t like this at all. Most of them, including Officer Dylan, are great cops who serve their community well. But, does Officer Dylan ever report his partner, Rob, for the shitbag things he does? No. Does anyone else in the Department, knowing how Rob acts, report him for it? No. And if anyone did report him, would anything happen to Officer Rob? Not really.

    The Blue Wall, to a cop, is about loyalty and brotherhood. No one can understand what it’s like for a cop except another cop. There’s a bond there; a closeness that the rest of us just can’t understand. And so, they stick by each other, no matter what. And those few who don’t? They don’t stay cops for long. They’re ostricized and run out of their careers.

    See, the problem is systemic. Cops aren’t all bad, but the ones who are good still engage in the act of looking the other way and saying fucking nothing because they have no other choice. Well, that’s not true. Their other choice is to end their careers and leave their family without a much-needed source of income.

    “The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.”
    — Edmund Burke

    And when those good men intentionally and with full knowledge of the consequences sit there and fucking do nothing, I ask, can they still be called “good” men?

    Internal Affairs is seen as the enemy. Cops “ratting” on other cops are seen as traitors. The system is broken. Cops need to be reminded that your duty is to the people you serve FIRST and to your brothers in blue SECOND. If your brothers fucking betray their charge by mistreating the citizens you are sworn to protect, then you have FAILED in your duty.

    There’s too much “us vs. them” in the minds of both cops and black people, but the cops started it and they have to acknowledge that and put a stop to it. The violent misbehavior of cops that we’re seeing all over the news these days, that’s not a new thing. In fact, it’s way better than it ever has been before! What’s new are the cameras and the social media that’s no longer allowing racist fucking dickheads to get away with their shitty behavior.

    The good news is that there’s HOPE! Cops *can* change. The majority of them, absent the systemic bullshit, WANT to do the right thing! When the Blue Culture changes so that it’s truly more about serving the people than each other, that’s when the change will come. Good luck waiting for that to fucking happen, though!


  • One Year Later – How Bad Was Teaching?

    Today is May 29th. It’s a special day for me as I reflect back on the past year of my life. You see, one year ago today was the effective date of my resignation from the school I had worked at for more than 7 years. It was neccesary for me to leave, but it was painful. Like getting your teeth pulled: You know you need to do it, but it sucks anyway.

    For days, my emotions had been raw. Thinking about all those kids I taught who I would now never get to see grow older and leave elementary school. Birthdays and Christmases that I would miss. I was leaving this place that I’d worked so hard for and all those children I’d loved so much.

    It’s one year later and I’m taking stock of how I feel about that decision now. Instead of influencing young minds and spending my days imparting knowledge unto the next generation, I spend my work days ringing up customers and making sure their vibrators work. For nearly a year now, I’ve worked in an “Adult Store” selling sex toys, lube, porn, male enhancement pills, bongs “water pipes,” and various other fun things. Ask anyone and they’ll tell you that I am now holding down an inferior job to the one I left. First of all, it’s fucking retail, ugh. Second, “dude, you sell fucking dildos for a living, what the fuck….”

    So, after a year, let’s ask: Do you miss it, Galen?

    Continue reading  Post ID 378


  • Taxation is Theft! Except That It’s NOT.

    This is a phrase that I see on Facebook and floating around all the other meme-regurgitator sites. The phrase that every Libertarian tattoos on their colon so they’ve got something to read while their head is up their ass.



    Yeah…. no it’s not. Hold on to your tinfoil hats, retards, here we go!

    First, let’s define what we’re talking about here. When we say “theft” what does that mean? It’s a legal term, right? Because theft is a crime, right? Taking something that doesn’t belong to you is illegal.

    “MY MONEY DOESN’T BELONG TO THE GUB’MENT, GALEN! UNDER JURISPRUDENCE COLOR OF LAW IN ABSENTIA BLAH BLAH BLAH MORE LEGAL TERMS I DON’T ACTUALLY UNDERSTAND BUT WILL CONTINUE TO SHOUT AS IF THEY MEAN SOMETHING BLAH BLAH BLAH ARTICLES OF CONFEDERATION AND SECTION 553-C OF THE MAGNA CARTA BLAH BLAH BLAH….”

    Calm the fuck down, you dumb hick. I’m getting there! Maybe if you ever would stop for two seconds to listen to somebody else, you wouldn’t be such a very wrong fucking retard right now.

    So, we’ve established that theft is, by its very definition, an illegal act. Therefore, someone taking your money for a legal reason could not possibly be theft. For example, if you come to buy a 12-inch dildo from me and I take your money and then give you the dildo, I did not commit theft even though I took your money. But maybe you’d say that’s “giving” the money away freely. Ok, so if you try to steal a dildo from me and catch you and make you pay for it, is that theft? No. See, if there’s a legal reason for which I am forcing you to give me money, it’s not theft.

    We must now ask ourselves if there is a legal reason for taxation. Of course there are tax laws, but let’s not stop there. Surely the Constitution has something to say about this heinous act! I mean, our forefathers did fight tyranny and oppression simply to forget to explicitly outlaw something so horrible! So since I’m sure that taxes are unconstitutional, that’ll be easy to prove and will make them illegal! This is certainly what Libertarians are talking about, right? I mean, obviously the Constution would never…….

    The Congress shall have Power To lay and collect Taxes, Duties, Imposts and Excises, to pay the Debts and provide for the common Defence and general Welfare of the United States

    Uh….

    …shall have Power To lay and collect Taxes…

    Oh. Oops!

    Here’s the problem, Libertardians. Your slogan is a straight-up paradox. You can’t say that something which is legal is therefore an illegal act!



    Pointing out this inconvenient fact (that their little tax motto is nonsensical horseshit) to Libertarians typically gets the same result. The more respectful and intelligent ones will say that you’ve made a fine legal argument, but that their problem is that, whether or not its legal, taxation is immoral. Ok, fine, but that’s not what you said! My fine legal argument is all that matters because whether something is “theft” is a LEGAL ISSUE! Your stupid memes and shit don’t say “TAXATION IS IMMORAL” or “TAXATION IS WRONG” or even just “TAXATION SUCKS.” They all very clearly and unambiguously say that taxation (a legal act) is theft (an illegal act).

    That is wrong and retarded, just like the people who spew it out of the gaping shithole in their face. The fact is that “taxation is theft” is easily disproved by citing Article I, Section 8, Clause 1 of the United States Constitution (just as I did above). Once that’s done your legal argument is shown up as the absurd fucking looney toon idea that it is and you have to fall back on “Uh, well, no, it’s about morality! It’s immoral to tax me without my consent!” Maybe it is, maybe it isn’t, but why don’t you try actually having THAT fucking argument instead?!

    Y’know why you don’t? Because just saying that taxation is immoral/wrong makes you sound like a whiny little bitch who doesn’t want to pay his fair share into the system. Instead, you conflate the issue. You use hyperbole to make a point and while I’m certainly the world’s biggest fan of that tactic, here it’s just making you a dishonest douchebag.

    Taxation isn’t theft. It can’t be. It’s not even possible. And since you Libertarians pride yourselves on how well you know the Constitution, I don’t believe for one second that this is an honest mistake. You’re lying and you shifty little fucks know exactly what you’re doing! Get bent and stay the fuck off my social media, assholes!

    —–

    Update – 4/1/2016: I’ve been informed by a Libertarian that the rebuttal to this is the fact that the Libertarian party doesn’t believe in the legitimacy of the Constitution anyway. They’re down with the Articles of Confederation or some shit like that. So, basically, the response to all my awesomeness is “No, no, you’re wrong, because we’re fucking stupid.” Thanks guys, I’ll try to remember that.


  • Rape as punishment

    The following rant is based off this news article. [Update: The article doesn’t exist anymore; fuck!] Actually, it’s more based off the comments in this Facebook post about the article.

    Let’s start off with a basic and reasonable assertion: Rape is bad. Can we all agree with that one? Well, obviously not, else there wouldn’t be rapists, but whatever. Most reasonable sane people agree that committing the crime of rape is bad, wrong, evil, immoral, etc.

    And yet, I see comments and sentiments like this all the fucking time. The subject of the article is an evil bastard. He raped a 12-month-old child. That’s about as fucking low as you can get. I think that’s another thing we can all agree on, so that’s two things. Rape is bad and this guy is less than shit. Two things on which we agree. Two points that are both solid, reasonable, logical, and even have the added bonus of satisfying that emotional itch we need to feel about things. Unlike many things, these two things are right and they feel right too.

    But, then we hit the wall, because that’s where the logic ends and, for so many people, their emotions take over and their head goes on a vacation.



    See, folks, here’s the logical disconnect. In order to condone this sort of thing, there has to be an exception in your mind; a condition in your head that says “rape is bad, unless…” And that is not fucking acceptable!

    There is no “unless.” There is no “But what if…” NO! The rape of another living thing, good or evil, is NEVER ok and absolutely not ever something that should be condoned!

    Shit, condoned? These people were not only condoning it, they were cheering it on! They were wishing for it to happen more! This Facebook post got my attention because after reading the title, the first thing I saw was how many people had clicked the little “HaHa” laughing like-button. If you can laugh at someone’s rape – not some rape joke, but a real actual rape – then you are no better of a human being than this man. Yes, I fucking said it, you are just as evil as him!

    Oh, you’re not? Why not? He clearly has an exception in his mind where he thinks rape is totally ok. And, as we can see, SO DO YOU

    Oh, what, his exception is different than yours so that somehow makes you less despicable? Nah, bitch, I don’t think so.

    Rape is not a punishment. And even if it were, I don’t think 20 fucking low-life shitbag prison inmates are the ones who should be doling out heaping assfulls of justice.

    What if it comes out later that the guy was innocent all along? THEN you’ll feel bad, but let’s examine that. Rape is a terrible thing… but only when it happens to good people. That’s the message I’m getting. So, where’s the line at, exactly? If I murder someone, is it ok if I’m raped? What about if I just beat someone up? How about if I robbed a convenience store? Traffic drugs? Maybe I’m a pimp? What if I shoplift? What if I’m jaywalking? Where, precisely is the line? Just how bad do I have to be before it’s ok for me to be a rape victim? The answer is that you don’t fucking know, because there is no goddamn line, because THIS ISN’T FUCKING SAUDI ARABIA, THAT’S NOT HOW WE FUCKING DO THINGS IN THIS COUNTRY, YOU MORON! Our laws are clearly defined; sharp, crisp, clear! And where they’re not, that’s where we always see problems.

    Maybe you want to ride your happy ass down the slippery slope of “It’s ok if SOME people get raped” but I’d rather condemn it entirely. Y’know why? Because I”m not a subhuman piece of dog shit, like you and that baby rapists. You two are in the same category: People Who Sometimes Think Rape Is Acceptable. Now that you’re in that category with him, I guess something you totally deserve should happen to you now… right?


  • Executive Orders are NOT “New Laws” But You ARE A Dumbass!

    ALTERNATE TITLE: Why You Should Have Paid Attention In Middle School Social Studies Class Instead Of Staring At Stacy’s Ass

    Well, fucking Christ, everybody sure is President Obama right now! Here he comes, finally after all this time, to take your guns!

    Listen, morons, because here comes there Good “Ol Learnin’ Train! CHOO CHOOOO!

    The Executive Branch of government cannot pass new laws by itself. It can, however, determine the best course for enforceing existing laws. For example, the law says that everybody has to have a background check to purchase a firearm. That’s the law, right? Yes it is. A loophole in that law allowed people to still buy guns at gun shows without having a background check done. Did the drafters of the background check law intend for an exception to be made for gun shows? No, they didn’t. Is it a very effective law if it says “You can’t do this anywhere….. except this one place, then it’s cool.” No, it’s not. So, in order to actually enforce the law that already exists which says everybody has to have a background check to own a gun, the loophole has now been closed.

    See? No new law, just the same old law that was always there! The only difference is that now the law actually does what it was fucking supposed to be doing all along! Obama isn’t being a dictator, he’s doing his fucking job, you morons.

    Boo hoo, we can’t buy guns at gun shows anymore! But I liked gun shows and hassle free gun buying!

    Yeah, so did criminals!

    Here’s the thing, guys. I’m a “gun person.” I like guns. Guns are fucking awesome. For decades now, me and all the other “gun people” have been chanting a pretty simplisitc mantra: We don’t need new laws; we need to actually enforce the laws we already have!

    And now we are – thanks, Obama! 🙂

    What Obama just did was to give us all exactly what we’ve been asking for since the fucking 80s! The gun laws that are already on the books are going to be easier to enforce. We got what we wanted, stop bitching because it inconveninces you, you fucking crybabies!