• Category Archives Stupidity
  • You’re Not Being Persecuted When You’re In Jail For Actually Being A Criminal

    The following rant is based on this news article:
    Jailed for a Facebook post: how US police target critics with arrest and prosecution

    First, let’s get something out of the way. Yes, police do indeed target critics and come up with bullshit reasons to harrass them. Fucking pigs can all go drown in doughnut batter for all I fucking care. This rant is not a defense of asshole cops, it is a defense of common goddamn sense.

    The guy in this article is being lauded as a hero by the Left. I follow a lot of Liberal pages on social media and they all seem to point to things like this as examples of persecution and oppression by The Man.

    Now, as I said, bullshit like that certainly does happen, but is this really a case of that bullshit?

    What was the guy actually arrested for? Did he do something wrong? Did he sit here on his stupid phone and just go right ahead and give the cops an actual reason to fuck him up?

    Why, yes. Yes, he did.

    This DUMB MOTHERFUCKER posted on Facebook, about a specific and named police officer, that everyone should get together and burn his house down.

    That’s called a criminal threat and IT’S A FELONY, you fucking idiot!

    You know what should be a felony? All the goddamn stupid Liberals defending this motherfucker, like he’s some poor persecuted guy! Now, even if we assume all the best things in his favor, there’s still a problem! Let’s assume those things and find out:

    He’s a good person
    He would never actually do such a thing
    He was just talking shit on Facebook
    He’s an activist against cops
    He is obviously being targeted by the cops

    Now that we’ve checked all our boxes, let’s see if we can spot the problem. Hmm…. Let’s look real hard now. OH, there it is, I found it!

    He committed an actual fucking serious-as-shit crime

    No matter what else you can say about the sonofabitch, there’s still that one nagging problem! Are you, my very left-leaning audience, suggesting that we should just let motherfuckers go when they commit crimes if it just so happens that they were also disliked by the cops?

    OF COURSE THAT’S WHAT YOU’RE SUGGESTING, BECAUSE THERE’S SOMETHING FUCKING WRONG WITH YOU!!!

    “Hey, that Black Lives Matter activist just got arrested!”

    “Yeah, he murdered his whole family with a nail gun.”

    “FUCK THAT! FUCK THE PO-PO! BLACK LIVES MATTER!”

    “But… dude…. he actually did do something wrong. This is actually a situation where the cops are totally supposed to arres–”

    “FUCK YOU! CIS-GENDERED SCUM! RACIST! YOU’RE WITH THE KKK! YOU’RE ON THE COPS’ SIDE!”

    “Dude…. no, I’m totally with you guys, I just don’t think being an activist gives you the right to commit crim–”

    “YOU’RE A NAZI!” *punch to the face*

    And there you have it, the great Liberal discussion in America today! If the cops hate you, it’s totally cool to threaten their lives or just do whatever the fuck you want because when they come to arrest you for actually breaking the fucking law, you can just scream persecution and an army of twats will fall right in line behind you. And, heaven forbid, if someone on your side should happen to point out that you’re being a fucking retard, well they’re just clearly a statist with an agenda who supports the cops and racist who wants to see Treyvon Martin resurrected so the cops can kill him this time around instead of just a random douchebag with a tiny dick.

    Cops killing people is not good. We absolutely should be rising up against that and even blocking traffic and, hell, even having a goddamn riot about it! Do I think that a cop who murders someone deserves to have their house burned down? Abso-fucking-lutely! But do I think you should actually do it? Nope. More importantly, would I, having the opinion that they deserve it, just go ahead and name a cop that I hate while encouraging all of you to get together with me so that we can commit arson against him?

    No. I would not do that, because I have a fucking brain and I know what a criminal threat is. If I’m a black man, the cops already want to paint me as a criminal just for the mere fact of my existence, so how exactly does it fucking help anything for me to go commit a felony and make myself into the criminal that they said I was all along. That just makes them look right and when my compatriots rally to my defense for this, it makes my cause look like it’s fueled by weapons-grade autism!

    And this is why Liberals are losing. Black Lives Matter is an important cause, but you jackasses keep jerking your little entitlement-dicks and skeeting goddamn stupidity all over it!

    Every movement trying to fight injustice that has ever existed has been smart enough to distance itself from criminal elements in their midst. There are ALWAYS assholes in a movment and they are not your friends. People who run around talking about burning down a cop’s house aren’t in the fight because they want justice for black people, they’re in the fight because they hate cops, and that’s a shitty reason. You don’t WIN if you’re rooted in HATE. Hate always loses in the end; always. If you base your movement in hate, you’re already the losers.

    And from where I’m sitting, it seems like you guys are celebrating people who punch Nazis in the face and threaten to burn down houses. I know you’re supposed to be the good guys here, but you’re damn sure acting A WHOLE LOT like the bad guys…


  • Well, shit….

    “OMG Galen, why haven’t you, of all people, had something to say about the election???”

    Three words for ya, folks: Stunned. Fucking. Silence.

    And I just kept sitting here thinking “Nah, I don’t feel like writing a blog post, and besides, there’s still a chance.” I mean, the Electoral College could’ve done their fucking jobs. There were other possibilities (glimmers of hope) circulating among the liberal media. So, I held my breath and waited. Hoping beyond all hope.

    But somewhere deep inside, I knew. I knew that the people of this country would disappoint me, again, as they have so many times before. But it’s not even the people, really. At the time of this writing, Clinton won the popular vote by 2.8 million votes! One vote, one voice, am I fucking right, my Libertarian friends?!

    I feel so many things right now. Anger, yes. Bitterness, hopelessness, disappointment, all of that. Confusion, most of all. I mean, he just makes no sense at all, for anyone?! If you’re a woman, why would you vote for that fucking sexist scumbag who’s been accused of rape (and even of raping a *child*)? If you’re a member of the working class, why would you vote for a fucking old rich guy? If you’re a right-wing evangelical Christian, why in the ever-loving goddamn fuck would you vote for the least Christian candidate up there?! For fuck’s sake, Richard Dawkins is more of a Christian than Trump!

    So, yeah, the confusion is the biggest thing for me. I honestly just cannot see how anyone would vote for Trump. At least, not logically, but then elections aren’t won by reason; this one least of all. Trump one because people are fucking pissed and they wanted to shove that giant Cheeto right up the establishment’s ass. Everybody knew that the Republican and Democratic leadership hates Trump, so they wanted to send him to the White House as a big ‘ol “Fuck you!”

    Now look what you’ve done, you spiteful cunts! Fuck them? Fuck US – ALL OF US!

    Over the next four years, we can all look foward to seeing every bit of progress that’s been made in the 21st century get shoved into a windowless van, driven out to the desert and shot.

    Fear. Did I mention that one? Because I AM afraid. Not for me. I’m a lower middle-class white male, I’ll fucking survive. It won’t be pleasant (even for me), but I’ll make it. But if you’re a woman, a Muslim, an immigrant, etc. then prepare for the dicking. A tiny orange dick that’s not simply going in your asshole, but in the all new asshole that Orange Hitler rips you.

    OH BOY, let me not forget to qualify the Hitler reference. See, for the whole goddamn Bush era, the majority of my rants were comparing Bush to Hitler. Hell, the majority of every online “ranter” called him Hitler. But that was obviously hyperbole, and if it wasn’t obvious to you, let me spell it out: George W. Bush was not Hitler. Yes, he did a few mildly fascist things (mild when compared to a real fascist dictator), but he was not Hitler and when I (and many others) called him that, we were just being dicks to a guy we hated.

    All that being said, let me not mince words here when I say that Donald Trump’s rhetoric and actions do actually bear a striking and terrifying resemblance to that of Adolf Hitler. I’m NOT using hyperbole when I say that we are under a genuine threat as long as that monster retains any level of power. He is a fucking horror show waiting to happen and the American Democratic Republic is in actual real genuine no-bullshit fucking danger now!

    Winter is here.


  • Taxation is Theft! Except That It’s NOT.

    This is a phrase that I see on Facebook and floating around all the other meme-regurgitator sites. The phrase that every Libertarian tattoos on their colon so they’ve got something to read while their head is up their ass.



    Yeah…. no it’s not. Hold on to your tinfoil hats, retards, here we go!

    First, let’s define what we’re talking about here. When we say “theft” what does that mean? It’s a legal term, right? Because theft is a crime, right? Taking something that doesn’t belong to you is illegal.

    “MY MONEY DOESN’T BELONG TO THE GUB’MENT, GALEN! UNDER JURISPRUDENCE COLOR OF LAW IN ABSENTIA BLAH BLAH BLAH MORE LEGAL TERMS I DON’T ACTUALLY UNDERSTAND BUT WILL CONTINUE TO SHOUT AS IF THEY MEAN SOMETHING BLAH BLAH BLAH ARTICLES OF CONFEDERATION AND SECTION 553-C OF THE MAGNA CARTA BLAH BLAH BLAH….”

    Calm the fuck down, you dumb hick. I’m getting there! Maybe if you ever would stop for two seconds to listen to somebody else, you wouldn’t be such a very wrong fucking retard right now.

    So, we’ve established that theft is, by its very definition, an illegal act. Therefore, someone taking your money for a legal reason could not possibly be theft. For example, if you come to buy a 12-inch dildo from me and I take your money and then give you the dildo, I did not commit theft even though I took your money. But maybe you’d say that’s “giving” the money away freely. Ok, so if you try to steal a dildo from me and catch you and make you pay for it, is that theft? No. See, if there’s a legal reason for which I am forcing you to give me money, it’s not theft.

    We must now ask ourselves if there is a legal reason for taxation. Of course there are tax laws, but let’s not stop there. Surely the Constitution has something to say about this heinous act! I mean, our forefathers did fight tyranny and oppression simply to forget to explicitly outlaw something so horrible! So since I’m sure that taxes are unconstitutional, that’ll be easy to prove and will make them illegal! This is certainly what Libertarians are talking about, right? I mean, obviously the Constution would never…….

    The Congress shall have Power To lay and collect Taxes, Duties, Imposts and Excises, to pay the Debts and provide for the common Defence and general Welfare of the United States

    Uh….

    …shall have Power To lay and collect Taxes…

    Oh. Oops!

    Here’s the problem, Libertardians. Your slogan is a straight-up paradox. You can’t say that something which is legal is therefore an illegal act!



    Pointing out this inconvenient fact (that their little tax motto is nonsensical horseshit) to Libertarians typically gets the same result. The more respectful and intelligent ones will say that you’ve made a fine legal argument, but that their problem is that, whether or not its legal, taxation is immoral. Ok, fine, but that’s not what you said! My fine legal argument is all that matters because whether something is “theft” is a LEGAL ISSUE! Your stupid memes and shit don’t say “TAXATION IS IMMORAL” or “TAXATION IS WRONG” or even just “TAXATION SUCKS.” They all very clearly and unambiguously say that taxation (a legal act) is theft (an illegal act).

    That is wrong and retarded, just like the people who spew it out of the gaping shithole in their face. The fact is that “taxation is theft” is easily disproved by citing Article I, Section 8, Clause 1 of the United States Constitution (just as I did above). Once that’s done your legal argument is shown up as the absurd fucking looney toon idea that it is and you have to fall back on “Uh, well, no, it’s about morality! It’s immoral to tax me without my consent!” Maybe it is, maybe it isn’t, but why don’t you try actually having THAT fucking argument instead?!

    Y’know why you don’t? Because just saying that taxation is immoral/wrong makes you sound like a whiny little bitch who doesn’t want to pay his fair share into the system. Instead, you conflate the issue. You use hyperbole to make a point and while I’m certainly the world’s biggest fan of that tactic, here it’s just making you a dishonest douchebag.

    Taxation isn’t theft. It can’t be. It’s not even possible. And since you Libertarians pride yourselves on how well you know the Constitution, I don’t believe for one second that this is an honest mistake. You’re lying and you shifty little fucks know exactly what you’re doing! Get bent and stay the fuck off my social media, assholes!

    —–

    Update – 4/1/2016: I’ve been informed by a Libertarian that the rebuttal to this is the fact that the Libertarian party doesn’t believe in the legitimacy of the Constitution anyway. They’re down with the Articles of Confederation or some shit like that. So, basically, the response to all my awesomeness is “No, no, you’re wrong, because we’re fucking stupid.” Thanks guys, I’ll try to remember that.


  • Yes, please

    Thanks to Facebook group The Geek Strikes Back for this gem.

    And, of course, in the comments under this pic on Facebook, nothing but fucking butthurt offended douche-nozzles. Jesus Christ, she’s fucking hot you crybaby little pussies. Go the bathroom, wash out your fucking pussies, and get over it. She’s hot. This is fucking hot. Nobody needs to be goddamn ashamed that we find an attractive girl attractive.

    Get fucked, losers.