• SnipeMe – Now Available With 100% More Encryption!

    Because I’m not an e-commerce site, nor any sort of site that really needs encrypted end-to-end communication with my audience, I’ve never bothered. Also, because I’m fucking poor and that shit isn’t free! Correction: wasn’t free.

    Thanks to the Electronic Frontier Foundation (EFF) and the Internet Security Research Group (ISRG), now any website can have their shit encrypted for FREE!

    This has been around for a little while now, I just hadn’t gotten to it until today. And now, thanks to the fucking badasses at the EFF and ISRB, you can get insulted and demeaned by me with complete privacy and security!

    I will now take questions. Yes, let’s start with you, the fat meatloaf hater in the corner there:

    “Galen, what the fuck are you even talking about? What does this mean?”

    Ok, so for the computer illiterate, it means this. When you visit my website, the address now starts with https. The s stands for “secure.” You see the same shit when you visit Amazon or Newegg or anywhere that you have to enter private information. If you connect to a website using just regular old http, it’s like shouting down the street to your friend. Anybody along the path who knows how to listen will know what you’re saying. Using https is like yelling to your friend in Klingon; it’s not impossible that some pathetic fucking loser will be able to decipher what you’re saying, but it’s a lot less likely.

    Ok, next question, let’s see… Ah yes, you, the Ancient Greek in the 3rd row. Yes, if you’ll just take your dick out of that boy’s ass, I’ll be happy to answer your question.

    “Galen, why the fuck did you bother? This is stupid. There’s nothing secret on your website. Everybody knows it’s here! Literally everybody! I practically grew up here! Please notice me, daddy!

    Uh, ok, that was creepy…. Anyway. It’s not about keeping secrets. An encrypted end-to-end connection hides shit from the people who aren’t intended to see shit. For example, your ISP, who has the legal right to sell off your browsing history to the highest bidder in order to make themselves lots of money that you’ll never see. Fuck those fucking fuckers, right in their goddamn ears! Do I want them exploiting my users? FUCK NO, I DON’T, and they can suck a bull’s dick in hell!

    Ok, final question…. You, the pale specter floating in the corner grading my coding ability (and always giving me an F), the last question is yours.

    “Riiiight, Galen, listen… I’ve inspected this https implementation of yours and found it lacking. The SnipeMe Classic site hasn’t earned its padlock. There are clearly still insecure things there.”

    I have no idea. Four different web services have scanned the site and rated it as perfectly secure with no remaining http elements. I do not know why Firefox and Chrome still think the site is insecure. I’ll fix it later, because nobody fucking cares. For now, everybody should be advised that if you go to SnipeMe Classic and get a warning that the site is insecure, it’s bullshit and both Firefox and Chrome are borderline retarded.

    And that’s it for this very special announcement. TL;DR – Galen modernized some shit, so give him praise or he may never do it again.

    Free Adverstising:

    Let’s Encrypt! – Go here to get your own free SSL certificate and make your website say “fuck you!” to the government and ISPs.

    NordVPN – Go one step further and make sure that *everything* you do online is encrypted and secure. This is the VPN provider Lord Galen uses.


  • You’re Not Being Persecuted When You’re In Jail For Actually Being A Criminal

    The following rant is based on this news article:
    Jailed for a Facebook post: how US police target critics with arrest and prosecution

    First, let’s get something out of the way. Yes, police do indeed target critics and come up with bullshit reasons to harrass them. Fucking pigs can all go drown in doughnut batter for all I fucking care. This rant is not a defense of asshole cops, it is a defense of common goddamn sense.

    The guy in this article is being lauded as a hero by the Left. I follow a lot of Liberal pages on social media and they all seem to point to things like this as examples of persecution and oppression by The Man.

    Now, as I said, bullshit like that certainly does happen, but is this really a case of that bullshit?

    What was the guy actually arrested for? Did he do something wrong? Did he sit here on his stupid phone and just go right ahead and give the cops an actual reason to fuck him up?

    Why, yes. Yes, he did.

    This DUMB MOTHERFUCKER posted on Facebook, about a specific and named police officer, that everyone should get together and burn his house down.

    That’s called a criminal threat and IT’S A FELONY, you fucking idiot!

    You know what should be a felony? All the goddamn stupid Liberals defending this motherfucker, like he’s some poor persecuted guy! Now, even if we assume all the best things in his favor, there’s still a problem! Let’s assume those things and find out:

    He’s a good person
    He would never actually do such a thing
    He was just talking shit on Facebook
    He’s an activist against cops
    He is obviously being targeted by the cops

    Now that we’ve checked all our boxes, let’s see if we can spot the problem. Hmm…. Let’s look real hard now. OH, there it is, I found it!

    He committed an actual fucking serious-as-shit crime

    No matter what else you can say about the sonofabitch, there’s still that one nagging problem! Are you, my very left-leaning audience, suggesting that we should just let motherfuckers go when they commit crimes if it just so happens that they were also disliked by the cops?

    OF COURSE THAT’S WHAT YOU’RE SUGGESTING, BECAUSE THERE’S SOMETHING FUCKING WRONG WITH YOU!!!

    “Hey, that Black Lives Matter activist just got arrested!”

    “Yeah, he murdered his whole family with a nail gun.”

    “FUCK THAT! FUCK THE PO-PO! BLACK LIVES MATTER!”

    “But… dude…. he actually did do something wrong. This is actually a situation where the cops are totally supposed to arres–”

    “FUCK YOU! CIS-GENDERED SCUM! RACIST! YOU’RE WITH THE KKK! YOU’RE ON THE COPS’ SIDE!”

    “Dude…. no, I’m totally with you guys, I just don’t think being an activist gives you the right to commit crim–”

    “YOU’RE A NAZI!” *punch to the face*

    And there you have it, the great Liberal discussion in America today! If the cops hate you, it’s totally cool to threaten their lives or just do whatever the fuck you want because when they come to arrest you for actually breaking the fucking law, you can just scream persecution and an army of twats will fall right in line behind you. And, heaven forbid, if someone on your side should happen to point out that you’re being a fucking retard, well they’re just clearly a statist with an agenda who supports the cops and racist who wants to see Treyvon Martin resurrected so the cops can kill him this time around instead of just a random douchebag with a tiny dick.

    Cops killing people is not good. We absolutely should be rising up against that and even blocking traffic and, hell, even having a goddamn riot about it! Do I think that a cop who murders someone deserves to have their house burned down? Abso-fucking-lutely! But do I think you should actually do it? Nope. More importantly, would I, having the opinion that they deserve it, just go ahead and name a cop that I hate while encouraging all of you to get together with me so that we can commit arson against him?

    No. I would not do that, because I have a fucking brain and I know what a criminal threat is. If I’m a black man, the cops already want to paint me as a criminal just for the mere fact of my existence, so how exactly does it fucking help anything for me to go commit a felony and make myself into the criminal that they said I was all along. That just makes them look right and when my compatriots rally to my defense for this, it makes my cause look like it’s fueled by weapons-grade autism!

    And this is why Liberals are losing. Black Lives Matter is an important cause, but you jackasses keep jerking your little entitlement-dicks and skeeting goddamn stupidity all over it!

    Every movement trying to fight injustice that has ever existed has been smart enough to distance itself from criminal elements in their midst. There are ALWAYS assholes in a movment and they are not your friends. People who run around talking about burning down a cop’s house aren’t in the fight because they want justice for black people, they’re in the fight because they hate cops, and that’s a shitty reason. You don’t WIN if you’re rooted in HATE. Hate always loses in the end; always. If you base your movement in hate, you’re already the losers.

    And from where I’m sitting, it seems like you guys are celebrating people who punch Nazis in the face and threaten to burn down houses. I know you’re supposed to be the good guys here, but you’re damn sure acting A WHOLE LOT like the bad guys…


  • White Nationalism Is Just Plain Nationalism

    Before we really jump into this, let’s define our terms so that no one is confused. I say this because it’s very easy to get mixed up between White Nationalism and White Supremacy. Believe it or not, those are actually two different things and it’s even possible for someone to belong to one group without belonging to the other. So let’s be clear what we’re talking about.

    White Supremacy is the belief that Caucasians are superior to other ethnicities. White Supremacists hold that blacks, latinos, arabs, asians, etc. are all inferior to the “white race.” In many such circles, there also tends to be the added religious component that the white race is “God’s chosen race” (nevermind that the Bible specifically says that the Jews – whom White Supremacists hate – are God’s chosen people).

    White Nationalism is the belief that white people deserve to have their own country, basically. For example, “Japanese” is a designation for both a race and a nationality. People of that race have their own country. White Nationalists believe that should be the case for not only white people, but for all races.

    Now, as I mentioned, these two groups often go hand-in-hand, but that’s not necessarily the case. I’ve seen interviews with plenty of White Nationalists who say (convincingly) that they are no racists, they do not hate black people, they do not think slavery was right, and that blacks have been mistreated by whites. Their claim is that all of these problems come about because blacks and whites (and all other races) were never intended by nature to live together and that we would all be happier and better off if we lived separately. So, a White Nationalist isn’t necessarily a White Supremacist, as you can hold this belief while not also thinking that white people are superior to other races. At the same time, there are plenty of White Supremacists who don’t give a shit if we live separately. They’d be happy to have blacks, latinos, etc. still living in the country, as long as we went back to the days of segregation (or even slavery) and the “white man” is recognized as superior. So, a White Supremacist isn’t necessarily going to be a White Nationalist either. There’s a whole lot of crossover between the two groups, but it isn’t necessarily so.

    Now that I’ve given you guys a little primer on the subject, let’s dive in. It really needs to be stated, firstly, that White Nationalism is absolutely racist. I would grant them that their position is certainly the less racist of the two, but it IS still racist as fuck. The main problem being that (as I’m sure you’ve heard Liberal bleat before) “race” is mostly a social construct and not a product of nature. Sure, there are some natural difference between different races, but these differences are the result of environmental factors where these particular groups evolved, and nothing more. These differences are absolutely what you would expect to happen within the same species, if you understand evolutionary biology even a little.

    My main point today is about the separation of humans based on arbitrary criteria. White Nationalists want humans to be separated based on their “race.” If you understand what that means, they’re basically saying that where you evolved matters enough that we should segregate because of it.

    Then you have your plain on Nationalists. That’s everybody’s redneck uncle who talks about the “damn Mexicans” stealing our jobs and how this is OUR country. It’s also everybody who waves their fucking flag around and shows “American Pride” (or any other country) to such a degree that you’d think they actually fucking did something to feel proud about. What the fuck did you do? “Oh hi, I’m Bert, and my dumb ass was born on this here particular clump of dirt which just so happens to be the best fucking clump of dirt there is, because I was fucking born here. Now you shut the hell up while I act like that was something I fucking accomplished and sit here being proud of it!”

    Right now, you may be thinking that I’m off on a weird fucking tangent. Or, it’s entirely possible that you might not be a moron and you see exactly where I’m going with this. Good for you. Let me explain it to the simpler folks.

    White Nationalism is the belief that people should be kept separate because of a meaningless man-made concept: Race

    Nationalism is the belief that people should be kept separate because of a meaningless man-made concept: Nationalities

    How is an imaginary line on a map supposed to be a less arbitrary reason to keep people apart than an imaginary “race” concept? It’s fucking NOT, that’s how. The only difference is that most of society acknowledges one of those concepts as being fucking retarded, but they’re perfectly happy to run right along with the other.

    “Goddamnit Galen, you sound like one of them there ‘open border’ people!”

    Not just open borders, no borders. Nationalities and borders should not exist, period. Contrary to the thinking of both White Nationalist and Nationalist alike, the problems evident in the human race today are NOT the result of different cultures and peoples mixing together. The vast majority of these problems are the result of the human race being kept apart, in neatly organized little categories. Whether those categories are “white/black/asian/jew/arab/whatever” or “U.S./Mexico/Canada/China/Italy/whatever” makes no difference at all! The problem is not what categories you choose to separate people with, it’s that any categories exist at all!

    When you keep children isolated, they don’t develop properly. They develop a variety of mental and emotional problems. When you raise children with lots of social interaction with others, they develop into healthy functioning adults. The same is true on the global scale. When you keep groups of people (whatever arbitrary groups these may be) isolated, the individual cultures get all kinds of fucked up. We, as a race (the human race), are hampering our own development as a species. I estimate that, in our development, the human race is the equivalent of someone just entering adolescence. We’re not little children anymore, but we haven’t fucking grown up yet either. This is very likely a crucial stage of our species’ development and the continued cultural isolation is sure to retard us if it doesn’t stop.

    Luckily, there is hope. The Internet has globalized communications and cultural interaction. I rank the Internet as being, without a doubt, the single most important thing that mankind has ever created. For all the bitching, fighting, and trolling that goes on, we are communicating! We are free to interact and here, online, there are no borders. No borders, no countries, no races, no genders. Not by default, anyway. You may choose to tell people online what race you are, what gender you are, and where you’re from, but you don’t have to and a lot of the time it doesn’t even matter! This medium is our greatest hope for the human race to grow the fuck up and be something better.


  • John Oliver’s Call to Action for Net Neutrality

    I’m sharing this because he’s right, all of us on the Internet agree on one damn thing and that’s that we want to fucking KEEP our Internet free and open.

    The URL Oliver set up, gofccyourself.com, is awesome, BUT it’s really bogged down and takes a while and/or a few tries to load. Here’s a direct link to the page that you can just click on from here:

    https://www.fcc.gov/ecfs/search/proceedings?q=name:((17-108))

    Or if you still prefer a short URL: http://snpr.us/fcc

    Remember that this is an official public filing; BE RESPECTFUL or you won’t be taken seriously.


  • Paul Ryan Is A Gutless Yellow Turd

    The following Rant is based on this news story:
    Planned Parenthood Volunteers Blocked From Delivering 87,000 Petitions to Paul Ryan


    So, if you just read that article from Teen Vogue, you may need a minute before you can actually read my rant. If you have any functioning brain cells, you’re probably so angry right now that it’s hard to see clearly. That’s fine, come back when you’re ready…..

    Alright, good, let’s get started.

    PAUL RYAN, YOU SHIT-EATING LITTLE FAGNET, WHO IN THE HOLY JESUS-TITS FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?!

    You spineless, dickless, pathetic little snot-rag chewer, HOW FUCKING DARE YOU refuse petitions! HOW DARE YOU!

    YOU WORK FOR THE PEOPLE, YOU ARROGANT FUCKING HERPES WART, NOT THE OTHER GODDAMN WAY AROUND!!!!

    You seem to have forgotten, you little shit, that listening to the will of the people and carrying out those wishes is the exact definition of your fucking JOB, asshole!

    This is what the fuck happens when you silly little cum stains start getting the notion into your heads that being a member of Congress means that you’re in a “Be Your Own Boss” type of situation. No, motherfucker, you’re NOT your own goddamn boss. Y’know who IS your boss? All those Planned Parenthood volunteers that you sent armed guards out to keep away from you. THOSE are your bosses and it’s a shame that all they can deliver is a bunch of petitions. What you NEED delivered is a fucking slap to the back of the head and told to “Get back to work, you lazy fuck, stop riding the clock.”

    No, I’m not fucking bitching that you want to defund PP. I could, because that’s a dickbag move, but no, that’s not my problem here. YOUR GODDAMN MOTHERFUCKING JOB is to listen to The People!

    DO YOUR JOB, DICKHEAD!


  • Welcome 2017

    I’ve always written something to start off the new year. One of the reasons I like the blog format is because now I don’t fucking have to. I could just leave this alone, but fuck it, I might as well write something to welcome in 2017.

    Many are glad that 2016 has finally ended, what with all the terrible shit that’s happened this past year. Celebrity deaths all over the goddamn place, from Prince to Princess Leia. The election was a shit show the likes of which politics has never seen before and then it ended in the worst possible outcome. I’m not being facetious when I say that. Literally any other person who was running for President would have been better. Oh, Clinton’s a liar and a crook? Welcome to politics, you ignorant fuck. Oh, Romney’s a religious fucktard? Welcome to Republican politics, dumbass! This shit is par for the course.

    Ah, but let me not get off on that tangent too badly. I’ll have four more years to opine the dawning of our Idiocracy (and possibly the twilight of our civilization). Traditionally, one is supposed to talk about New Year’s Resolutions and things they’re looking forward to in the coming year. Well, you know me, I fucking LOVE traditions!

    Sadly, I don’t have any Resolutions to share. I never do, because I’m fucking fine with who I am, you weak ass little pussies. OH, no, wait a minute, I DO have one! More sex. I’m not getting enough. So yeah, there’s my Resolution: Have more sex.

    Now on to the things I’m looking forward to….

    Um….

    Ok, well, my 16th wedding anniversary is coming up soon, so that’s cool. Valentine’s Day is always a busy time at my job, so that’s a lot of fun. Hopefully the world won’t end before September, so I’ll get to see my kid turn 7, that’ll be awesome. Oh fuck, and I just realized what age I’LL be turning right before he turns 7… shit. No, it’s not fucking FORTY yet, you motherfuckers. It’s 39…. shut up HEY, I just thought of a good thing about Trump being President! There’s a good chance I’ll die before I hit 40! FUCK YEAH, ‘MURICA! TRUUUUMMMP!

    Oh god, I just threw up in my mouth a little after doing that. Moving on….

    Or, well, no, nevermind. Nothing else I can think of, really.

    I’m sorry guys, but there’s no positivity to be found here. If you’re happy to see 2016 die, just wait. 2017 promises to be even worse. You’ll be begging for 2016 to come back and gently penetrate you with no lube.

    *sigh*…. I can’t just leave it like that. I guess there’s is a hopeful message I can deliver on this New Year’s Day and here it is: IF we make it, WE win. The reason the anti-intellectuals and fucking retards of the planet are making a comeback is because common sense and reason has actually been gaining ground! It’s happened slowly, but it’s happened. Republicans had pretty much given up on gay marriage and on fighting gay rights as a whole. They were reduced to small quibbles over fucking gay wedding cakes and trangender bathrooms. We, the good intelligent people of the country, had them beaten back into a corner. This? This shit right here? This is their last dying effort to fight back. If we can emerge victorious, we will have fucking WON. The fight is on, motherfuckers; welcome to twenty-goddamn-seventeen!


  • Well, shit….

    “OMG Galen, why haven’t you, of all people, had something to say about the election???”

    Three words for ya, folks: Stunned. Fucking. Silence.

    And I just kept sitting here thinking “Nah, I don’t feel like writing a blog post, and besides, there’s still a chance.” I mean, the Electoral College could’ve done their fucking jobs. There were other possibilities (glimmers of hope) circulating among the liberal media. So, I held my breath and waited. Hoping beyond all hope.

    But somewhere deep inside, I knew. I knew that the people of this country would disappoint me, again, as they have so many times before. But it’s not even the people, really. At the time of this writing, Clinton won the popular vote by 2.8 million votes! One vote, one voice, am I fucking right, my Libertarian friends?!

    I feel so many things right now. Anger, yes. Bitterness, hopelessness, disappointment, all of that. Confusion, most of all. I mean, he just makes no sense at all, for anyone?! If you’re a woman, why would you vote for that fucking sexist scumbag who’s been accused of rape (and even of raping a *child*)? If you’re a member of the working class, why would you vote for a fucking old rich guy? If you’re a right-wing evangelical Christian, why in the ever-loving goddamn fuck would you vote for the least Christian candidate up there?! For fuck’s sake, Richard Dawkins is more of a Christian than Trump!

    So, yeah, the confusion is the biggest thing for me. I honestly just cannot see how anyone would vote for Trump. At least, not logically, but then elections aren’t won by reason; this one least of all. Trump one because people are fucking pissed and they wanted to shove that giant Cheeto right up the establishment’s ass. Everybody knew that the Republican and Democratic leadership hates Trump, so they wanted to send him to the White House as a big ‘ol “Fuck you!”

    Now look what you’ve done, you spiteful cunts! Fuck them? Fuck US – ALL OF US!

    Over the next four years, we can all look foward to seeing every bit of progress that’s been made in the 21st century get shoved into a windowless van, driven out to the desert and shot.

    Fear. Did I mention that one? Because I AM afraid. Not for me. I’m a lower middle-class white male, I’ll fucking survive. It won’t be pleasant (even for me), but I’ll make it. But if you’re a woman, a Muslim, an immigrant, etc. then prepare for the dicking. A tiny orange dick that’s not simply going in your asshole, but in the all new asshole that Orange Hitler rips you.

    OH BOY, let me not forget to qualify the Hitler reference. See, for the whole goddamn Bush era, the majority of my rants were comparing Bush to Hitler. Hell, the majority of every online “ranter” called him Hitler. But that was obviously hyperbole, and if it wasn’t obvious to you, let me spell it out: George W. Bush was not Hitler. Yes, he did a few mildly fascist things (mild when compared to a real fascist dictator), but he was not Hitler and when I (and many others) called him that, we were just being dicks to a guy we hated.

    All that being said, let me not mince words here when I say that Donald Trump’s rhetoric and actions do actually bear a striking and terrifying resemblance to that of Adolf Hitler. I’m NOT using hyperbole when I say that we are under a genuine threat as long as that monster retains any level of power. He is a fucking horror show waiting to happen and the American Democratic Republic is in actual real genuine no-bullshit fucking danger now!

    Winter is here.