All the links on the Policies page were fucked up. I’ve now fixed it.
This is a phrase that I see on Facebook and floating around all the other meme-regurgitator sites. The phrase that every Libertarian tattoos on their colon so they’ve got something to read while their head is up their ass.
Yeah…. no it’s not. Hold on to your tinfoil hats, retards, here we go!
First, let’s define what we’re talking about here. When we say “theft” what does that mean? It’s a legal term, right? Because theft is a crime, right? Taking something that doesn’t belong to you is illegal.
“MY MONEY DOESN’T BELONG TO THE GUB’MENT, GALEN! UNDER JURISPRUDENCE COLOR OF LAW IN ABSENTIA BLAH BLAH BLAH MORE LEGAL TERMS I DON’T ACTUALLY UNDERSTAND BUT WILL CONTINUE TO SHOUT AS IF THEY MEAN SOMETHING BLAH BLAH BLAH ARTICLES OF CONFEDERATION AND SECTION 553-C OF THE MAGNA CARTA BLAH BLAH BLAH….”
Calm the fuck down, you dumb hick. I’m getting there! Maybe if you ever would stop for two seconds to listen to somebody else, you wouldn’t be such a very wrong fucking retard right now.
So, we’ve established that theft is, by its very definition, an illegal act. Therefore, someone taking your money for a legal reason could not possibly be theft. For example, if you come to buy a 12-inch dildo from me and I take your money and then give you the dildo, I did not commit theft even though I took your money. But maybe you’d say that’s “giving” the money away freely. Ok, so if you try to steal a dildo from me and catch you and make you pay for it, is that theft? No. See, if there’s a legal reason for which I am forcing you to give me money, it’s not theft.
We must now ask ourselves if there is a legal reason for taxation. Of course there are tax laws, but let’s not stop there. Surely the Constitution has something to say about this heinous act! I mean, our forefathers did fight tyranny and oppression simply to forget to explicitly outlaw something so horrible! So since I’m sure that taxes are unconstitutional, that’ll be easy to prove and will make them illegal! This is certainly what Libertarians are talking about, right? I mean, obviously the Constution would never…….
The Congress shall have Power To lay and collect Taxes, Duties, Imposts and Excises, to pay the Debts and provide for the common Defence and general Welfare of the United States
…shall have Power To lay and collect Taxes…
Here’s the problem, Libertardians. Your slogan is a straight-up paradox. You can’t say that something which is legal is therefore an illegal act!
Pointing out this inconvenient fact (that their little tax motto is nonsensical horseshit) to Libertarians typically gets the same result. The more respectful and intelligent ones will say that you’ve made a fine legal argument, but that their problem is that, whether or not its legal, taxation is immoral. Ok, fine, but that’s not what you said! My fine legal argument is all that matters because whether something is “theft” is a LEGAL ISSUE! Your stupid memes and shit don’t say “TAXATION IS IMMORAL” or “TAXATION IS WRONG” or even just “TAXATION SUCKS.” They all very clearly and unambiguously say that taxation (a legal act) is theft (an illegal act).
That is wrong and retarded, just like the people who spew it out of the gaping shithole in their face. The fact is that “taxation is theft” is easily disproved by citing Article I, Section 8, Clause 1 of the United States Constitution (just as I did above). Once that’s done your legal argument is shown up as the absurd fucking looney toon idea that it is and you have to fall back on “Uh, well, no, it’s about morality! It’s immoral to tax me without my consent!” Maybe it is, maybe it isn’t, but why don’t you try actually having THAT fucking argument instead?!
Y’know why you don’t? Because just saying that taxation is immoral/wrong makes you sound like a whiny little bitch who doesn’t want to pay his fair share into the system. Instead, you conflate the issue. You use hyperbole to make a point and while I’m certainly the world’s biggest fan of that tactic, here it’s just making you a dishonest douchebag.
Taxation isn’t theft. It can’t be. It’s not even possible. And since you Libertarians pride yourselves on how well you know the Constitution, I don’t believe for one second that this is an honest mistake. You’re lying and you shifty little fucks know exactly what you’re doing! Get bent and stay the fuck off my social media, assholes!
Update – 4/1/2016: I’ve been informed by a Libertarian that the rebuttal to this is the fact that the Libertarian party doesn’t believe in the legitimacy of the Constitution anyway. They’re down with the Articles of Confederation or some shit like that. So, basically, the response to all my awesomeness is “No, no, you’re wrong, because we’re fucking stupid.” Thanks guys, I’ll try to remember that.
Let’s start off with a basic and reasonable assertion: Rape is bad. Can we all agree with that one? Well, obviously not, else there wouldn’t be rapists, but whatever. Most reasonable sane people agree that committing the crime of rape is bad, wrong, evil, immoral, etc.
And yet, I see comments and sentiments like this all the fucking time. The subject of the article is an evil bastard. He raped a 12-month-old child. That’s about as fucking low as you can get. I think that’s another thing we can all agree on, so that’s two things. Rape is bad and this guy is less than shit. Two things on which we agree. Two points that are both solid, reasonable, logical, and even have the added bonus of satisfying that emotional itch we need to feel about things. Unlike many things, these two things are right and they feel right too.
But, then we hit the wall, because that’s where the logic ends and, for so many, their emotions take over and their head goes .
See, folks, here’s the logical disconnect. In order to condone this sort of thing, there has to be an exception in your mind; a condition in your head that says “rape is bad, unless…” And that is not fucking acceptable!
There is no “unless.” There is no “But what if…” NO! The rape of another living thing, good or evil, is NEVER ok and absolutely not ever something that should be condoned!
Shit, condoned? These people were not only condoning it, they were cheering it on! They were wishing for it to happen more! This Facebook post got my attention because after reading the title, the first thing I saw was how many people had clicked the little “HaHa” laughing like-button. If you can laugh at someone’s rape – not some rape joke, but a real actual rape – then you are no better of a human being than this man. Yes, I fucking said it, you are just as evil as him!
Oh, you’re not? Why not? He clearly has an exception in his mind where he thinks rape is totally ok. And, as we can see, SO DO YOU
Oh, what, his exception is different than yours so that somehow makes you less despicable? Nah, bitch, I don’t think so.
Rape is not a punishment. And even if it were, I don’t think 20 fucking low-life shitbag prison inmates are the ones who should be doling out heaping assfulls of justice.
What if it comes out later that the guy was innocent all along? THEN you’ll feel bad, but let’s examine that. Rape is a terrible thing… but only when it happens to good people. That’s the message I’m getting. So, where’s the line at, exactly? If I murder someone, is it ok if I’m raped? What about if I just beat someone up? How about if I robbed a convenience store? Traffic drugs? Maybe I’m a pimp? What if I shoplift? What if I’m jaywalking? Where, precisely is the line? Just how bad do I have to be before it’s ok for me to be a rape victim? The answer is that you don’t fucking know, because there is no goddamn line, because THIS ISN’T FUCKING SAUDI ARABIA, THAT’S NOT HOW WE FUCKING DO THINGS IN THIS COUNTRY, YOU MORON! Our laws are clearly defined; sharp, crisp, clear! And where they’re not, that’s where we always see problems.
Maybe you want to ride your happy ass down the slippery slope of “It’s ok if SOME people get raped” but I’d rather condemn it entirely. Y’know why? Because I”m not a subhuman piece of dog shit, like you and that baby rapists. You two are in the same category: People Who Sometimes Think Rape Is Acceptable. Now that you’re in that category with him, I guess something you totally deserve should happen to you now… right?
Thanks to Facebook group The Geek Strikes Back for this gem.
And, of course, in the comments under this pic on Facebook, nothing but fucking butthurt offended douche-nozzles. Jesus Christ, she’s fucking hot you crybaby little pussies. Go the bathroom, wash out your fucking pussies, and get over it. She’s hot. This is fucking hot. Nobody needs to be goddamn ashamed that we find an attractive girl attractive.
Get fucked, losers.
Wait for it….
Since I haven’t posted anything recently, here’s a funny video to keep you short-attention-span motherfuckers entertained.
I’d like to quote what I just read on Facebook:
I got news for anyone who thinks that only Generation Y/Millennials have entitlement issues. I’m at my job, y’know guarding and shit and some old broad is leaving the bank. I do my job and say to her, “take care,” “have a good day,” whatever the fuck it was I said. The bitch doesn’t say anything to me, not even “bye,” and just continues walking out the door, along with some other old broad. I hear the two broads bitching about something outside, so I go outside in hopes of hearing what it was. Turns out that they’re mad that I didn’t open up the door for them. The bitch that SAID NOTHING TO ME and has no obvious physical handicap other than being an old sack of shit, is mad that I didn’t read her fucking mind and open up the door for her. Yo bitch, all you had to do was fucking do was OPEN YOUR MOUTH and fucking ASK instead of ignoring me like a spoiled, old, white cunt (yeah, there are some white women I DON’T like, Lol).
I’d go and talk about how she should be chainsawed into little pieces and be unknowingly fed to her grandchildren, but fuck it, she’ll probably be dead by the end of the year. And good fucking riddance. Cause bitch, this ain’t the 1800s. Lincoln freed the fucking slaves. She probably couldn’t believe that I, as a black man, didn’t just volunteer to have her walk over my blazer so that the leftover salt on the floor wouldn’t get on the bottom of her shoes. Bitch, I’m not your slave and I’m NOT a fucking doorman. Fuck you.
And remember, I’m not mad that they wanted me to open the door for them. I’m mad that these wrinkly old twatwaffles (lol, always wanted to use that word) felt that they were above speaking to me and as a result of that, *I’M* the asshole who was too rude to open up a door.
Useless pieces of shit. They’ve outlived their usefulness and their deaths can’t come soon enough.
That came from long-time Sniper Forum member WadeKarl. Now, ‘ol WK is a wee bit famous among Snipers. Famous for being a complete dumbass who can’t string a coherent thought together!
When the fuck did he learn how to write and not just write but… like me!
Goddamnit, boy, I’m somewhat proud of you. Shit.
ALTERNATE TITLE: Why You Should Have Paid Attention In Middle School Social Studies Class Instead Of Staring At Stacy’s Ass
Well, fucking Christ, everybody sure is President Obama right now! Here he comes, finally after all this time, to take your guns!
Listen, morons, because here comes there Good “Ol Learnin’ Train! CHOO CHOOOO!
The Executive Branch of government cannot pass new laws by itself. It can, however, determine the best course for enforceing existing laws. For example, the law says that everybody has to have a background check to purchase a firearm. That’s the law, right? Yes it is. A loophole in that law allowed people to still buy guns at gun shows without having a background check done. Did the drafters of the background check law intend for an exception to be made for gun shows? No, they didn’t. Is it a very effective law if it says “You can’t do this anywhere….. except this one place, then it’s cool.” No, it’s not. So, in order to actually enforce the law that already exists which says everybody has to have a background check to own a gun, the loophole has now been closed.
See? No new law, just the same old law that was always there! The only difference is that now the law actually does what it was fucking supposed to be doing all along! Obama isn’t being a dictator, he’s doing his fucking job, you morons.
Boo hoo, we can’t buy guns at gun shows anymore! But I liked gun shows and hassle free gun buying!
Yeah, so did criminals!
Here’s the thing, guys. I’m a “gun person.” I like guns. Guns are fucking awesome. For decades now, me and all the other “gun people” have been chanting a pretty simplisitc mantra: We don’t need new laws; we need to actually enforce the laws we already have!
And now we are – thanks, Obama! 🙂
What Obama just did was to give us all exactly what we’ve been asking for since the fucking 80s! The gun laws that are already on the books are going to be easier to enforce. We got what we wanted, stop bitching because it inconveninces you, you fucking crybabies!
I’m utterly taken aback by how incredibly sad this is. I mean, poor little guy! That’s just fucking heartbreaking 🙁